warning. this post may be graphic to younger readers.
jk just keep reading it’s good i promise.
i love victoria’s secret. just gonna be honest. AND JUST BECAUSE I’M SHORT DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE SMALL BOOBS OKAY? just wanted to put that out there.
i love victoria’s secret. it’s fun to get bras that make you look fabulous and their underwear is the best. but that’s not why i bring up victoria’s secret.
this is a rant btw. so if you don’t like rants you should leave rn. but stay, i have cookies.
no i don’t. i’m baiting you into staying. because you still think you’re gonna get a cookie if you read. you’re not, sorry. but please stay. it’s a fun rant. i promise.
so. i went with Jade (ik she’s in like every post but i don’t care.) to VS/PINK today because we needed a mall day and it was kind of an extension of my birthday. (i know what you’re thinking. my broken foot. yeah i was hobbling around the mall all day. and i looked like an idiot. but it was fun.) so yeah we went to the mall and spent at least an hour in VS. and during the time span we were there i saw at least 5 girls with their boyfriends in there. they were making their boyfriends help them choose a million thongs and bras to try on. then i heard a few of the girls say, “oh you’re buying these for me, if you didn’t know.”
first of all, it’s not fair to bring your boyfriend to a lingerie store. (“omg Aria, lingerie is so inappropriate.” stop. no it’s not.) anyways. it’s not fair to him. he doesn’t want to be with you while you’re looking for underwear and bras. it’s not fun for him. he doesn’t enjoy shopping for panties, okay? he wants to play basketball or anything else than shop for lingerie. i love my boyfriend to death, but i’m not gonna force him to come shopping at VS or anywhere with me if he doesn’t want to. if he doesn’t want to come, he shouldn’t have to. but if he wants to, you could have some fun in the dressing room ;). just kidding. people change in there. that’s nasty.
he doesn’t want to be there in the first place! YOU CANNOT FORCE HIM TO PAY FOR YOUR SHIT. IT IS EXPENSIVE, EVEN WITH A SALE! i got a sale today for 7 panties (i hate that word) for $27.50 + $10 off a regularly priced bra (which i needed desperately and is usually like $40 and the underwear is usually $10 a piece!) i still spent like $60 there! i’m not the kind of person who’s gonna force my boyfriend to pay for my shit. it’s rude. if you want to go shopping at an expensive store, you better bring your own money! he probably wants to buy his own stuff, not shit for you! sure, he can buy you gifts and random presents here and there, but to force him to pay for your underwear? that’s a no-no.
now for the juicy stuff.
my mom just about murdered me when i got home.
she found a pregnancy test on my PERSONAL bathroom sink.
let me explain.
i cannot have sex with Matt. it’s impossible with this fucking cast boot thing.
i missed my period.
i usually get it on a strict schedule. that’s why when i missed it, i was scared.
even tho i’m still a fucking virgin and probably will be for a long time, i was paranoid and couldn’t push it out of my mind until i bought a pregnancy test. because i knew it was the only way to know for sure. even tho i’m a virgin. if that makes sense. it’s confusing. but just think it out.
i thought maybe i could’ve been pregnant. just because i missed my period. even tho i’m a virgin. like wtf is wrong with me. i’m so stupid.
so anyways, my period was just off schedule by like 2 days. and i was scared. so i bought a test. and i didn’t use it (because my period came, obviously). but i left it on my bathroom counter.
my PERSONAL bathroom that nobody else uses. so i thought i could leave it out.
but of course my mom was doing some cleaning. and found it.
so i told her everything, and she told me i was an idiot and i almost gave her a heart attack.
but don’t worry guys, i’m not gonna be barefoot and pregnant by the time i’m (just barely) 16. then i couldn’t blog. and i can’t leave you guys.
yeah so my mom’s mad at me now cuz i almost scared her to death.
sorry mommy love you.
i also have figured out something else!
so sometimes what i do is i mix up the first letter of words and switch them. like i say –
i can hear you cloud and lear!
i can hear you loud and clear!
it’s called a spoonerism.
a spoonerism is – a verbal error in which a speaker accidentally transposes the initial sounds or letters of two or more words, often to humorous effect, as in the sentence you have hissed the mystery lectures, accidentally spoken instead of the intended sentence you have missed the history lectures.
so that’s cool.
it’s spring break and i’m really excited!
I HAVE REALLY EXCITING NEWS EVERYBODY (especially my british fans ;))
I’M COMING TO LONDON!
AND IT’S NOT JUST ME!
MATT IS COMING TOO!
BUT FIRST LET ME REMIND YOU THAT I’M STILL IN MY CAST AND ON CRUTCHES BUT THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY I’M CANCELLING THIS TRIP EVERYONE HAS TRIED TO TALK ME OUT OF IT BUT IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN THIS TRIP IS HAPPENING. DON’T TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT. THANKS. LOVE YOU.
ever since i was little my mom said i could travel by myself once i was 16. and i’m 16! so me and Matt were planning this even before we started dating, like we started like 5 months ago. Jade was gonna come but she can’t. it’s a long story i can’t get into, because it’s a privacy violation. but you could ask her if you wanted.
so yeah! ME AND MATT ARE GOING TO LONDON. IN 2 SHORT DAYS. AND I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.
WE’RE ALSO GOING TO ROME!
i shit you not. this is happening. and i’m so excited.
we’re going to London first for 5 days. then we’re going to Rome for another 5.
it’s gonna be amazing.
but Jadey can’t come. which is sad. because i’ll miss her. but it’ll still be great.
i’m internationally travelling with the person i’m in love with.
at this time last year, i was sitting on my ass eating chips watching old FRIENDS episodes.
now i’m in a relationship, have a broken foot, and about to travel to London and Rome in the same 2 week span. this is insane.
i also went to bath and body works and got candles. they smell nice.
i have to go, i’m going to Matt’s house (ooh scandalous we’re gonna be in the bedroom better grab 8 million packs of strawberry condoms and some bacon flavored lube EW WHAT KIND OF COMBO IS THAT) (i’m totally kidding i’m only helping him pack…) 😉
WE’RE ACTUALLY SO LAME we’re just gonna watch a movie or something. it’s our go-to date. a movie. yeah we’re cool.
but once when we were in 6th grade we took his mattress off his bed and slid down the stairs on it. those were the days.
but yeah, i have to go, cuz i can’t drive and my mom’s waiting.
i’ll tell you about Matt and i’s movie date later.
i might sleepover at his place tho so i’ll just talk to you tomorrow or whenever.
~noah’s ARK (@ my initials)~
i’m lame i know.