there is only one day until i get out of this little town and into the big world.
well, i’m technically only going to like 2 places, but still.
i’m leaving in one day.
with the love of my life.
and i couldn’t be more excited.
so i slept over at Matt’s last night. it got really late and he asked to drive me home but we were both so tired and we just fell asleep.
it was nice to sleep next to someone.
i felt secure; safe.
it was nice.
i want to talk about something that makes me sad. but i don’t want to make you sad, so don’t read if you don’t want to.
i haven’t talked about Mason yet. because it makes me sad to talk about him.
but i want to talk about him today. i’m ready.
Mason was my role model. i looked up to Mason while i was growing up. he was an amazing person. he influenced me to be a good human being, and that’s why i’m who i am today. Mason was a great person. he had friends, he was nice to everyone, he was great at sports and good with technology. he was also great with children.
but i have no idea where he is right now.
Mason is my older brother.
he is about 19 now, around 3 years older than me.
everyone liked Mason. until they didn’t.
when he was 16, (i was only 13) people started to make fun of him, a lot. no matter how nice he was to them, they were mean to him. they made fun of the way he looked, what he liked to do, and other things.
it got so bad that he quit everything. he quit the baseball team, he quit learning about technology, and he quit theater. he quit doing what he loved because people were bringing him down for it.
i never pictured him as a quitter. but that’s what he turned into.
when he turned 18 (last year) he left. he didn’t tell us where he was going or what he was going to do with his life. he’s just gone. i don’t know where he is, but all i know is that my role model disappeared. what kind of role modeling is that?
and i never heard from him after that.
he was gonna leave anyways, because he turned 18, and was a “full fledged adult”. but i wish he told me what he was gonna do, or where he was going.
he doesn’t know anything about me anymore. he doesn’t know that i got the lead in my show. he doesn’t know that i found my other half. he doesn’t know that i broke my foot.
i just wish i knew he was okay.
i guess my life is a train wreck, huh. no father, missing brother.
i get along though.
i get along just fine.