showers

where I think about everything. where I contemplate life, and other things. where i can wash away a bad day.

I love showers. in the shower I think about life. where would I be right now if one little thing was different? if I lived in a different state, if Mason hadn’t have dissapeared. but when you think about it, you can’t change the past. what happened has already happened and all you can ever do is think about it. 

if we were still doing Beauty And The Beast, would Matt have kissed me during rehearsal? if I was a senior and not a junior, would I have the same friend circle?

that’s what I think about in the shower. the what ifs. what if this happened , and what do I do now that this happened?

but a shower is the perfect place to think. you’re alone, and in an environment where you can wash away the bad thoughts, and get rained on by the good things.

but these are serious things I think about. not just the past. but the future.

what if I don’t get into college? what if me and Matt break up? what if I die?

they all can happen. my demons come out in the shower. it’s scary.

but it’s also a great thing. 

thinking is a great thing. 

(sorry it’s so short, I have to go to rehearsal, but I wanted to share this)

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